Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Idea of Love

Love is, in dictionaries, defined as an intense feeling of affection, or a great interest in something or someone.

I believe a common phrase that superimposes on teenage love is that they are "too young to love" or "too young to understand what love is."

I don't believe in the term that you are only eligible to 'love' people when you are 'mature', or 'old enough to understand it'. I don't believe in the idea that you can only love someone if you've known them for a really long time.

Love is not fixed by the duration of time, it's not limited by the amount of people you can love or your maturity.

Love is an amalgamation of feelings that could be sparked by many things like intimacy, similitude of traits or likes, correspondence to your personal tastes, beautiful conversations, tinkling laughter; anything. Technically love is just the result of a whole bunch of chemicals that flow in your bloodstream making your mind feel infatuated or the sensation of being "drunk in love" or "stupid in love" or "crazy in love". That's temporary. Love is temporary.

Don't you dare tell me that I don't understand what love is if love differs for every individual, every thought, if my life is based around love, if my sole existence is nurtured by the idea of it. There is no fixed definition of love -- whether it's family love, relationship love, or friendly love. If you love someone, you love someone. The word love is a heavy stone to throw around, no doubt, but if you are strong enough to bear its weight, then it doesn't matter how old you are or how mature you are or how ready you are for it.

Maybe love means something else for married adults than what it does for teenagers in love with another individual. Maybe it means something else for a couple than another. What's wrong with that?

Being in love is not on the same level of commitment as being married. You can be in love with someone at any point of time without even doing anything about it. You can be in love with them for one minute then hate them the next. It's still love if you felt any affection, or warmth at the moment. If you felt a connection, that is love.


What makes a successful relationship is not love. Loving someone is as easy as hating someone. Love is a rush of feelings that may or may not be real, or permanent. As difficult as this is to say and realise, love does not last. What makes relationships long-lasting is not infatuation, it is not the recital of the words "I love you". It is DEDICATION. It is care. It is concern. It is commitment. Not love.

As I digress, the reason why some people cheat is not that they don't love their other half anymore, it is because they lack dedication and they lack discipline. I also believe that there are a million types of love in this world, like I said before, that differs for every pair of people -- love IS NOT FIXED. You can definitely love more than one person at once, just not in the same way.

I know that the idea of 'cheating' is wrong, but it's also unfair to hold your other half under your control as to stop him/her from loving other people. That happens. Relationships fail because love washes away and people don't have enough motivation or dedication to stay on. And to me that's absolutely fine.

Carpe diem. 

Love doesn't come by time, it doesn't come by years or months or days. Love is everywhere, if you can discover it in people. If people can make you genuinely happy.

What I'm trying to say is that love is so subjective that the mere definition of it is vague. Find your own definition of love. Don't base your 'relationship goals' on someone else's, because that doesn't work. You can't have 'similar relationships' with other people - love is individual and love is just a myriad of intense, beautiful feelings tied together in the moment.

Carpe diem. Live in the moment. Love is in the moment, it may not be there in the future but you can certainly love anyone at any given moment. Love is everywhere. If happiness is your goal, you will find love in anything.

Why think so much about this term? If you love someone, you love someone. Love should be uncomplicated. Love is not the same thing as being in a relationship. Love should be beautiful, it should be in excess, it should be unlimited.

We cannot survive without love. We cannot reduce ourselves to an apathetic race that does not feel anything intensely or passionately, whether it is for people or our careers or our hobbies or our favourite TV shows.

Therefore I concur that we can feel love and affection at any time of our lives, whether we are 6 or 16 or 36 or 60. Love is in our souls. Love lights the world up. It is genuine. We can't fake what we feel.
So once again -- don't you dare tell me or anyone that I am too young to understand what love is.

Love is not necessarily fully any of these things, but:

There is love in appreciation. There is love in warm blankets. There is love in my bedsheets. There is love in that boy that you have a crush on. There is love in family you can really connect with. There is love in laughter. There is love in kisses. There is love in holding hands. There is love in genuine friendship. There is love in hugs. There is love in hoodies. There is love in late nights and lots of food. There is love in such a plethora of things that all our senses must be blind, or deaf or dumb or completely unresponsive to not notice even the tiniest sliver of it.

Love is the closest thing in the world we have to magic.


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Sorry for this random sentimental word vomit post that I wrote quite capriciously in fifteen minutes while working on some other writing assignments that are way more crucial than this blog post. I just really felt the need to spit this out.


QUESTION: What's your definition of love? 

Comment below, I'd really like to know.


With that said,
Love,
Cindy


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