Saturday, May 3, 2014

"Pretty People Get Everything They Want" - Thoughts on beauty, low self-esteem & how to overcome it.

^ This title. This statement, in many of its variations, is constantly circulating around Twitter and Tumblr with thousands of reblogs and retweets everyday. The fact that so many agree with it already demonstrates how most girls are insecure and they blame the fact that they aren't happy, or they don't feel fulfilled on the basis that "they aren't pretty". Because this is what's ingrained into everyone's minds, that you have to be beautiful and stunning and alluring to be something and be someone and even matter to people. To be "treated", like an actual person. People think that if they aren't pretty, they wouldn't be taken seriously.

Is this statement the reason why so many people these days undergo the knife to be cut & chiseled by dexterous and deft hands just to be deemed beautiful? Is it why people puke their meals out, exercise twenty hours a week and spent two hours every morning smothering their faces with foundation and powder and twisting their hairs into impeccable styles? Is it why people cry in the dead of the night, not knowing why, except the innate sense that they weren't good enough. They weren't beautiful enough. They weren't hot enough. They weren't pretty enough. Crying, and blaming your godforsaken genetics for giving you this godforsaken body and this face that was - too round, too bony, too fat; eyes that were too small, too uneven; noses that were too aquiline, too big, too flat, too shapeless. Crying because you don't have a boyfriend, or that bitch said you were ugly, or this model on Instagram is so fucking gorgeous and it hit you that you didn't look anything like that, so you weren't.  

But why is that? Why do we go so far to blame our looks for everything that happens to us? Why do people prize and treasure our exterior shells so much? That is, in all senses of the word: literally and metaphorically, shallow.  

Because being beautiful gets you want you want and where you want to go? Because being beautiful immediately makes you someone people want to be around, and someone that people want to hang out with more, and talk to more often, and just makes you someone who is more interesting suddenly? 

This is such a twisted way of thinking. But I can't say it's ridiculous & not true, because the fact that so many people agree with this statement just shows how vapid people are to be accustomed to treating people better just because they are aesthetically attractive. Is this what globalisation and advances in technology have brought us too - this proliferation in lack of self esteem and the proliferation in prizing looks, or is this a problem that's been prominent since the early ages? I would say both, because people have been thinking this way since the longest time. How do we change fixed societal mindsets? By changing our own. Start with this man in the mirror, quoting Michael Jackson.

Being 'pretty' may have an advantage such as in first impressions. How many people who are your close friends, did you start being friends with just because you thought they looked good? Or how many people you started a conversation with on the basis of them being pretty?

However - something I realised is that there's something that beats looks - confidence. It's the confidence in that smile, in that laugh, in those twinkling eyes, that fire that just burns and radiates 'I know what I want and I'm going to get it', which is much more valuable than aesthetics because it is. Pretty people have confidence because they are aware that they're attractive -- because people tell them so. But the real confidence doesn't come from compliments; it comes from truly accepting that you're beautiful. That confidence, that assurance that looks don't matter, that positivity towards yourself, that counts as who you are.

Can aesthetics not be the only thing that we see in someone? Let's banish all of these thoughts. Let's just fuck it. Here's a challenge: For the next ten days, look at yourself and find something you love about yourself. Everyday. If you look out for it, you'll surely spot it. Let's look at the mirror and think, "I am so fucking beautiful." I am. And you are. And you don't need anyone to tell you that, because you already know it yourself and you don't need people to tell you things you already know. In fact, let's look at everyone in a different way. Bypass what everyone looks like on the outside. Being beautiful is not based on how far apart your eyes are, how small your boobs are, or how pointy your ears are. It's about you. It's about how you think, and how you treat people.

Let's quote Lupita Nyong'o, my new role model aka goddess.



Reduce dependency on others' compliments to make you feel better. Because you don't need that! It's not about being pretty. It's about doing something. It's about doing something to make you get what you want. Pretty is not a factor. If you truly believe that you are beautiful, then you are. So everyone. Keep your head up and that confidence up, and flash that debonair bitch. Love y'all x

PS: Lupita is the literal queen of People's Magazine's 50 most beautiful women list asdfghjkaslaklsglasf.


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